art
While having interaction with people and the study of professional endeavors has led me away from the crude reality of my own self-identity. One random moment it struck me that no matter how I thought about it all the interests I could think of having at that instant were just temporary attractions. You know how when you lose your wallet you keep seeing wallets everywhere. Similar to the obsessive memory retention of the wallet that's lost keep playing in the brain. Thus me who was clueless and there there were all these people who were going around preaching dream, passion and fulfilling careers it made me feel more dumb. As I being me who doesn't even know about myself and still was in no luxury to talk about so called grand thing called a dream. But me being stubborn which is genetically inherited trait of mine, I had a thirst to discover more things about me. Through the struggle of effort self discovery drained out of me it went on a long time within me and after certain while when I was getting bored I also started to observe my surrounding. Somehow normal but a funny thing which was evidently present but due to my ignorance not focused before how there were many struggling just like I did, which consisted of not only the ones confused about themselves but also the once who knew themselves well and had dreams. So since then I've realized than through all these things I'm on right now I'm not alone who's like that.
Rather having existential crisis after living a careless childhood is important to pay attention to changes happening within and around me. The changes when ignore will lead to problems so we have no other way to face them and through practice develop a fast detection skill which will give us chance to come up with suitable solution for them. So I realized the process of self exploration may have started with dilemma of existential crisis. But as time passes by it becomes more evident it's rather just a positive catalyst for our brain to have reactions and synthesize mental growth which is important to helps up cope up with the problems we will face and also empathize with other who have surely went through the same struggling.
Especially in my case ART was rather appealing for making expression of this conundrum in forms it would not have just remained in my senses but come out into physical world as ARTs, and it being an optical, sensual, auditory or of written form and often represents life in exaggerated, close, distant and hyper realistic ways. But irrespective of the dynamic expression it holds without having to justify theories, shown raw as it can be or exaggerated as much as the artist desires. Thus how it can project life using tools of various form makes it special. Somehow to me through self reflections of thought, exploring my taste in music and art, self portrait all of them led me to realize small parts of me in a fun way, this journey I'm going through which is made better because it was expressed and recorded through art.
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