Core

Waiting for absolutely nothing but still something that obscurely important and great. The silence with snoring father in next room, while the video is buffering and I'm in state of focus, I hear my breath through my nose.

The sound sounds like so howling wind in snowy blizzard. Although I've never seen in the reality. But although in real it might not be actually that exact sound. Maybe that sound is also a blizzard sound prejudice. But what can we do, for our brain to slide over a confusion, it conveniently fills it will probability of the variables in real, although which might be delusional and false often. Anyway the sound of my breathing was irregular like the flow of wind through hollows.

Anyway suddenly the sound remind me of cold wind. And how the background outside my window turn into snowy blizzard somewhere up in the mountains. 

I'm not bipolar, watching the video of the bipolar patient who goes on with his podcast with interesting but talk with absolutely no connection whatsoever from head to toe. But I can't deny the randomness of the thought pop up. Like how such absolutely necessary things we thought we'd remember for long time seems to have swept out of our subconscious memory bank whereas random normal not so special things they pop up in mind from time to time. Although widely due to the influence of other indices we come across in daily life.

While resting my arms on the terrace Piller, looking down and up. Although no fixed intentions were thought whole being there but somehow and urgency surged in and while thinking I was trying to catch on some virtues, which I believe, I possess. 

And looking at the faraway mountain covered Asif drizzled with powdered sugar as some dessert which was turning into orange hue due to sunset and sky with broken spread clouds also highlighted orange-yellow, the I made a thought because I had to have that thought that ,

" If your core is kept warm no matter the amount of wind that flows outside cannot sip in, but if the core turns cold than no matter how warm out might be the inner self will always churn in and bite in shivering lonesome uneasiness. "