Extension to 32

As far as I can grasp the thought of myself  in the present of past memories. I don't know if I'm just not 'the sensitive kind' or I've been too indifferent. Crying, empathy, sympathy, strong feeling of loving and protecting family, having cognition to every situation in best way possible being a woman (it's great to be able to do so but more they categorizes it's the responsibility of me being a woman but not a ability that'll enrich myself to a better human makes me rebellious sometimes. But I being lazy is greater reason than the above reason. And no one is born with such tact. It's all a hug and trial. You might not be the best at the current situation to solve the problem. But instead of being depressed of not being better at it now learning that your still short on that thing and trying to work it out so later when same situation comes you'll be able to recognize and make more favorable decision to avoid past blunders for desired outcomes)  have not occurred to me.

Maybe somewhere around my puberty I had this cognitive urgency to change into more selfish and insensitive person to add up to one thing totally. Whenever thing that are related to me and my thoughts and "me" it hits me up to all kinds of emotion. But again to another person if I remove myself and relation of me to them than everything becomes obscure and isolated. The void empty calm that doesn't interfere to others and keeps quiet as the multi standards and opinions are tolerated and showing a bias opinion is majorly opposed of, mostly very consciously.

Again this if continued, it'll make me more rejected and disturbed. Although never been that selfish so I measured people constantly of the worth to me. But simply someone who's different than me in some aspect, who has something he loves, most importantly someone I don't get tired of; which is bluntly not the case most of the time.

Lastly just lastly I felt fluttering butterflies in my bellies due to someone which was the basic want of the age. Also cried without reason. I smile almost to anyone with who my eyes meet. I don't intentionally distance myself from people but doing everything I want to now alone and parallel to meeting and having doing things with people seem to be great work; which I obviously want to master.

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